{"id":664,"date":"2008-12-01T10:54:33","date_gmt":"2008-12-01T15:54:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kenfager.com\/wordpress\/?p=664"},"modified":"2008-12-01T10:54:33","modified_gmt":"2008-12-01T15:54:33","slug":"random-confessional","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kenfager.com\/wordpress\/?p=664","title":{"rendered":"Random Confessional"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Forgive me <a title=\"Church of FSM\" href=\"http:\/\/www.venganza.org\/\" target=\"_blank\">Flying Spaghetti Monster<\/a> for I have sinned. Below is a list of things I may or may not have done.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Sending paper plates as postcards through the mail.<\/li>\n<li>Recommending with a straight face &#8220;Plan B&#8221; to a friend in full knowledge that it isn&#8217;t meant to be taken by men.<\/li>\n<li>Calling the Stewart Hall call box demanding nachos.<\/li>\n<li>Filling out magazine subscription cards with the names of friends and loved ones.<\/li>\n<li>Sending credit card offers back filled with stale crackers and Skittles.<\/li>\n<li>Demanding a new bag of M&amp;M&#8217;s because the last one was &#8220;full of 3&#8217;s and W&#8217;s instead of M&#8217;s.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Claiming that not taking insulin and having high blood sugars is a safe way to lose weight.<\/li>\n<li>Screaming in Taco Bell that the employee with the &#8220;G-Money&#8221; tattoo on his neck is &#8220;rollin&#8217; in Hamiltons.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Asserting that German is &#8220;the true language of love.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Asserting shortly thereafter that the French language comes exclusively from &#8220;Canada &#8211; America&#8217;s Hat.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I encourage you to share your confessions, real or fabricated, in fellowship with me. You may post under a pseudonym if you so desire.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Forgive me Flying Spaghetti Monster for I have sinned. Below is a list of things I may or may not have done. Sending paper plates as postcards through the mail. Recommending with a straight face &#8220;Plan B&#8221; to a friend in full knowledge that it isn&#8217;t meant to be taken by men. Calling the Stewart &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/kenfager.com\/wordpress\/?p=664\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Random Confessional<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,22],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-664","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-geek","category-theology"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kenfager.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/664"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kenfager.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kenfager.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kenfager.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kenfager.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=664"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/kenfager.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/664\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kenfager.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=664"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kenfager.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=664"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kenfager.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=664"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}