Savoury Flavor of Mythical Beasts

Student: What is your favorite food?

Teacher: My favorite food is unicorn. They are delicious.

Class (now paying attention): What?!

Student: You can’t eat unicorn! You can’t even buy unicorn meat!

Teacher: Yes you can and they are yummy. Just go to your local butcher and ask for the special.

Student: I don’t believe you.

Teacher: Well you’re missing out.

Student (unfazed): My favorite food is tacos.

Teacher: Now that I have everyone’s attention. (lesson continues…)

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Audio Zeitgeist

A smattering of recent playlist favorites. Audio links will open in iTunes.

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Mite-y Cheesy

Milbenkäse is a type of cheese produced exclusively in the Sachsen-Anhalt village of Würchwitz. It has been produced since the Middle Ages and is distinct in that it uses mites in its production. Yes… mites. I summon thee Wikipedia!

[Milbenkäse] is placed in a wooden box containing rye flour and inhabited by Tyroglyphus casei cheese mites for at least three months. The digestive juices of the mites diffuse into the cheese and cause fermentation; the flour is added because the mites would otherwise simply eat the whole cheese instead of just nibbling away at the crust as is desired. After one month, the cheese rind turns yellow, after three months reddish-brown. Some producers, however, allow the cheese to ripen for up to one year, until it has turned black. The taste is said to be similar to that of Harzer cheese, but with a bitter note (increasing with age) and with a distinctive zesty aftertaste. Mites clinging to the cheese rind are also consumed.

Originally read here.

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Done

Grrrrr...

Eight years ago America had a dark cloud hanging over its head. The worst thing – the absolutely worst thing a President could possibly do – happened. President Clinton got a little action on the side, lied about it, and that was just terrible. Do you remember when that was the worst of our problems, America? I do. 

President Bush vacates the office today.

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An Open Letter to Prescription Solutions

Prescription Solutions has mismanaged my prescriptions for well over three years now. I have had enough and its time to draw the line. Consumer rights are something I don’t take lightly. A certain multinational shipping service learned this the hard way.

To Whom It May Concern:

On January 13, 2009 I placed an order by phone with Prescription Solutions to refill my supply of Accu-Check Aviva Blood Glucose test strips. I placed this order by phone once again, because the website would not grant me the convenience. There will be more on that issue later. Something more pressing has garnished my fulmination.

When I spoke to your representative over the phone I specifically outlined the shipping address. I recall the event with great clarity because even I had difficulty spelling the street name, despite maintaining residence here for a number of months. Grabbing the nearest piece of mail I read aloud the following.

2 – 0 – 8  (insert audible pause)

O – S – C – E – O – L – A (another audible pause) Street

Where did Prescription Solutions send the package?

273 West Lincoln Avenue
Stewart Hall Room 311

The two addresses certainly sound similar, but if you read them aloud, one can discern their subtle differences. By the time I checked up on my order it was too late. On January 16 I placed a call to make light of the error and was promptly put on hold for 15 minutes.

In the interim that it takes for this package to eventually find its way I will run out of test strips. This presents me with a choice.

  1. Not check my blood sugar levels and run the risk of excessively high- or low blood sugar levels, ketoacidosis, eye damage, dehydration, frequent urination, kidney damage, irritability, coma, possible death, and a wide range of other health maladies.
  2. Buy more test strips at my local pharmacy and make meaningful connections with other human beings. Submit all receipts to the insurance company individually by mail for reimbursement.

Perhaps it was the Divine’s plan that I choose the latter. Refilling my prescriptions with your company has been a nightmare at every turn. Going to the local pharmacy will require that I return frequently as I can only obtain a 30-day supply of the four prescriptions I need to lead a healthy life. The convenience offered by getting 90-day refills with Prescriptions Solutions is negated by the problems encountered with every order.

I have not placed an order online in recent memory because there is always an error. When placing calls for orders sometimes the server is down and my refill is not completed. I have had to remind the staff that I do have insurance and the account number has not changed. Then there is the complete address nonsense outlined above.

After my prescriptions expire I will not be refilling them with Prescription Solutions.

This letter has been published online.

Consistently annoyed,
Ken Fager

In taking this matter public I offer Prescription Solutions every chance for rebuttal.

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