It is coming to be that time of year again for the UW-Oshkosh Department of Residence Life! It is the time of year where despite the ever increasing end of semester workload Res-Life decides to get together to throw the biggest event of the year. That’s right! The End of Year Banquet!
Let me get right down to brass tax. Kaela Lindquist should win Programming Assistant of the year and here is why.
- She does a much better job running the Stewart Hall desk than I ever did. Let us not forget the disastrous Summer Stewart Regime of 2005.
- She not only manages the Stewart Hall desk, but also the Evans Hall desk.
- Have you ever met some of the people who live in Stewart? Anyone who can train desk workers to field massive idiocy on an epidemic scale deserves the award.
- Have you ever met some of the people who live in Evans? Anyone who can train desk workers to field freshman and sophmore idiocy on an epidemic scale deserves the award.
- She has Jedi-like precognition skills in anticipating problems even before desk workers complain or ask.
- She gives me the left over nacho cheese that can’t be sold, but isn’t quite expired yet.
- She was trained by the best. AB yeah yeah!
- Ask yourself, “When has Kaela ever been late?”
- Ask yourself, “When has Kaela ever missed a meeting?”
- Ask yourself, “Am I violating Ken’s copyright if I copy this text verbatim into the nomination form?” (Answer: No.)
- She punctually files paperwork like its her job.
- Not only does she balance her work load, classes, and personal life with style and grace, but she also may be canonized as a saint for dating a totally meat-headed buffoon.
Having former coworkers who have won significant awards (e.g. Summer Hudson, Dana Blado, Jamie Mendralla, Nick Cisler, etcetera…) and living exemplar of Res-Life mediocrity, I am more than qualified to point out from the sidelines what a real canditate for such an honor is. Thank you.