Category Archives: geek

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Darth Vader’s Diagnosis

Cruising through digg.com I came across an article on the CBS News website about Darth Vader. With the movies wrapped up, he usually only reappears in major news articles as being listed one of the most scary movie villains in celluloid history. Apparently the American Psychiatric Association has suggested a diagnosis for Darth Vader. From the article:

Schmitt’s team describes Skywalker’s symptoms, including problems with controlling anger and impulsivity, temporary stress-related paranoia, “frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment (when trying to save his wife at all costs), and a pattern of unstable and intense personal relationships,” including his relationships with his Jedi masters.

No kidding. It took a team of doctor’s to tell the public what Star Wars geeks have known for years. I suppose the years of slavery, separation from his mother, and exposure to a megalomaniac politician didn’t help either. Watching his mother die in his arms after being tortured by marauders was probably traumatic. Then there is the years on the front lines of an intergalactic war. I would have a borderline personality disorder too if my mentor cut off three of my limbs and left me for dead next to a lava flow. I suppose the years of rehabilitation from the burns and isolation in a mechanical body wouldn’t help either. Then there is the whole thing about my pregnant wife being “killed” and being taken into hiding, never to be heard from again. I suppose the day-to-day stresses of organizing contractors to build a moon-sized battle station capable of destroying a planet couldn’t help.

I wonder what the APA would have to say about my compulsion to buy any action figure of Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader that I come across. The APA should stop focusing on fictional characters. Their energy would be better spent rehabilitating geeks across America.

Skype Contest

My Skype number is going to expire on May 28 and I will not be renewing it. Other than my parents and the occaisional telemarketer I do not get very many calls or voice messages with it. I could extend it for another three month chunk, but I will only be here for two. I don’t think it is worth it thanks to e-mail, instant messangers, SMS, and video chat. What does this mean for you?

It means that you have a week to leave me the most messed up message. It does not necessarily have to be obscene, but those who craft a funny message without will get bonus points. My Skype number is an Oshkosh area number so local rates apply. You won’t get hit with an international charge because the messages are forwarded to me over the interwebtubes when I login to Skype.

The best message will receive something german in return for their efforts. Caller must clearly identify themselves in the message. Multiple entries will be accepted. Winners for this contest will be decided on criteria totally made up by me at the moment of judging. Messages left may be posted (with names removed) at a future date on this website.

You can reach my Skype message box by calling 920-626-4536. You have until May 28!

A Million Watts of Sound

After a long hiatus The Smashing Pumpkins are back together. They are playing a reunion show in Paris on May 22. Their new single Tarantula of their return album Zeitgeist is definitely not lacking that “kick you in the gut for a good time” quality. Give a listen over at spinner.com.

The unreleased new Marilyn Manson album Eat Me, Drink Me, however, leaves something to be desired. I just have not been able to immediately take to the tracks. But more on that after the release date.

Reader Mail?

Today I went to my diminuitive mailbox and was pleasently suprised by a light blue envelope. Without thinking I tore open the thing expecting some sappy love note from my girlfriend. Wait a minute…

two fingers

It has been a while since I’ve had my prostate checked for cancer, but normally my physician doesn’t send out such subtle reminders. I checked the return address on the envelope and it originated from Eau Claire, Wisconsin. I’ve sent mail in other people’s names before (might be a crime), but the post office mark also supports that it came Eau Claire. The back of the card is purple and only says “Thinking of you…” It is clear by the cut on one side that this was a card given previously to someone. Most peculiar. If you are the one responsible for this ruse, by all means, make yourself known. I had quite a laugh.

If you too would like to send me crap in Germany my address is:

Ken Fager
Ernst-Lemmer-Strasse 15
35041 Marburg, Zimmer Nr. 01-16
Deutschland

[Update: The sender has made himself known in the comments. Thanks for coming forward!]

Der Macht der Jedi

dasimperium.jpg

Ich habe gestern der wichtigste Film meiner Kindheit gekauft. Mein Lieblingsteil des Films ist die Szene, die Darth Vader die rechte Hand Lukes mit einem Lightsaber dekapitiert und hat ihm die Wahrheit über seiner Vaterschaft gesagt. Die Stimme Vaders ist nicht so stärk auf Deutsch als James Earl Jones, aber sie hört auch böse und mechanisch. Ich habe diesen Film hundert Mal gesehen, so weiß ich fast jede Zitaten auf Englisch. Aber auf Deutsch ist alles ganz neue. Der Text meiner Lieblingsszene steht unten. Ich glaube, Sie kennen diese Szene auch, eben wenn Sie Deutsch nicht lesen können.

Vader: Obi-Wan hat dir nie erzählt, was aus deinem Vater wirklich passiert ist.

Luke: Er hat mir genug erzählt. Er hat mir gesagt, dass Sie ihn umgebracht haben!

Vader: Nein, ich bin dein Vater.

Luke: Nein. Nein. Das ist nicht wahr. Das ist unmöglich!

Free Comic Book Day

Complaint #3501 about studying abroad: May 5 is Free Comic Book Day! Head on down to your local comic book store and pick up some free comic schwag! If you are under 18 bring your naive mom or dad to get you the free comics for the mature crowd. Those are always the best.

PS: Yesterday I sat down to re-read Frank Miller’s classic The Dark Knight Returns. Three and a half hours and two-hundred pages later I finished what was only supposed to be a short reading.

Layout Update

You may have noticed that I am now using a slightly different theme for my site. Of all of the WordPress themes I tried today the default ones seem to suit my needs the best. I was using the original Kubrick theme, but personally modifed the code suit my needs. K2 is very similar, but will also need some modification.

I do not care for the following elements.

  1. The floating orange RSS icon above the comments section in the sidebar.
  2. The “Main” tab in the title bar. I did away with individual sections long ago. All information can be searched for by using the categories.
  3. The “Site Admin” tab in the title bar. Yuck.
  4. The useless small clock icon under the title of a post that does not even tell what time the content was posted.
  5. You will notice at the footer it just says “is powered by WordPress and K2.” WordPress uses the same variable for both the title and footer. I don’t have a variable defined because my title is drawn into the header image. I’ll have to manually input the footer.

The following items need to be reworked.:

  1. The Flickr plug-in.
  2. The PayPal donate button.
  3. Individual link buttons.
  4. Possible search field.
  5. Icon file for bookmarks.
  6. Visited link color is currently red. Yuck.