Everyone casually jokes about how when an American goes to Europe they should say “Ich komme aus Kanada.” Doing so may prevent a confrontation with a local who is upset with the oh… I don’t know… one or two things that the current US administration has done. I refuse to do this. Rather than say I am from Canada I have come up with some clever alternatives.

• Ich komme aus dem Bauch meiner Mutti. – I come from my mommy’s tummy.
• Ich komme aus einem Land hinunter, wo Bier fließen und Männer kotzen. Könnten Sie könnten Sie den Donner hören? Sie sollen rennen! Sie sollen Decke nehmen! – I come from a land down under, where beer does flow and men chunder. Can’t you hear, can’t you hear the thunder? You better run, you better take cover. : Men at Work – “Land Down Under”
• Ich komme aus dem kalten Staat Alaska. Es ist wie Kanada. – I come from the cold state of Alaska. It is like Canada.

PS: Did you know that in the local Umgängsprache (colloquial dialect) for Berlin, President JFK’s “Ich bin ein Berliner” quote meant that he said he was a jelly doughnut. “Ich bin Berliner” would have been the appropriate translation, but the locals all knew what he meant.