Yesterday I was sitting on the grassy knoll in front of my residence reading Calvin & Hobbes “Rache des kleinen Mannes” in the sun. There was a group of children playing in the area, but I paid them no mind. A few minutes later one of them came up to me, asking how to get home. When I asked him where he lived, he said “New Jersey.” I asked him all the requisite questions such as “Where are you staying? Do you know a phone number? Who are you staying with?” But, unfortunately, he did not know anything to help me locate where he came from. I then decided to call the police.

How this boy ended up thousands of miles away from home without knowing significant details about where he was, I will never know. The poor kid didn’t speak a bit of German. I just hope Evan Thomas found his parents. The police were certainly in no hurry, as it took them 25 minutes to show up and retrieve the lost boy.