schadenfreude

Blonde Ambition

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January came and went and I couldn’t help but feel a cavernous void within my inner-being. Something was not right. Something was out of place. I felt as though I missed something entirely, as though it passed me by. Then I realized…

Hurrr...

I never got to see Jessica Simpson’s movie “Blonde Ambition” because it made a grand total of $1,190 at the box office. That is a comma in there and not a decimal indicating millions. One-thousand and ninety dollars. Playing at only eight theaters in her home state of Texas during December it set the record for lowest box office draw. Studio executives decided not to release it nationwide this January. In 2007 I spent half of the year out of the country and worked a student job part time I still made more money than the entire box office draw for this film. ONE THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY DOLLARS. One one nine zero.

Be sure to look for Blonde Ambition on DVD at a Wal-Mart near you later this month. They’ll be packing them with melonballers so you can give yourself a lobotomy after viewing this silver screen monstrosity.

deutsch, education

Bodyworlds

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Bodyworlds

“Anatomical dissection gives the human mind an opportunity to compare the dead with the living, things severed with things intact, things destroyed with things evolving, and opens up the profoundness of nature to us more than any other endeavor or consideration.”

-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 – 1832)

This last weekend I went to go see Bodyworlds at the Milwaukee Public Museum. It was certainly worth the approximate $20 cost for admission. In the late 1970’s Herr Doktor Gunther von Hagens patented his technique for polymer impregnation of biological tissue and revolutionized medical specimens. Doktor von Hagens shatters the stigmata of dead bodies with his tasteful pieces. The donated bodies are perfectly preserved in lifelike poses for inspection by museum goers. The goal of the exhibit is not to create a circus side-show, but rather demonstrate to the public the intricate complexities of the human body, the history of anatomy, and its integration into modern medical science. Do yourself a favor and catch this exhibit.

college, geek, genius, schadenfreude

Charts and Graphs

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In the January 22, 2008 issue of The Advance Titan, Oshkosh’s college newsrag, the “Busted!” section reported a dearth of alcohol related incidents. I have compiled a handy chart to help you digest the stats. Bear in mind that the BAC statistics are merely the ones that were reported and that there are more with alcohol involvement who received citations. Discuss amongst yourselves.

Oshkosh BAC Levels

genius, theology

Abandoned Along H41

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Proof that God has a sense of humor exists. In the Creation Story of Genesis we find that the Almighty separated light from dark, the water from the land, and populated it with flora and fauna. To rule over all His creation the Almighty creates man. Despite the illustrious position, man is ill-qualified to dominate the forces of Nature. He is powerless to prevent the sun from rising, the oceans reclaiming land, or predators preying on the weak. This is the first joke God played.

Abandoned But Not Forgotten

About five miles north of Kaukauna, Wisconsin there is an abandoned lot along Highway 41. The solitary structure has vehicles parked in its driveway, which led me to believe that despite its decrepit state was occupied. Upon closer inspection I was delighted to discover that it was only a squatter’s domain. The lot was also surrounded by a communal dump. With no rhyme or reason cars, busses, trailers, and other large refuse littered the landscape. The beauty in decay is not difficult to find or appreciate. Despite man’s machination Nature continues to eat away at steel and rob well-engineered structures of their integrity. There-in lies God’s great joke. Slowly and surely the eternal forces of creation continue despite mankind’s oversight. I have posted just over 100 photos of the property in an album on Flickr.

That was deep.

college, genius, schadenfreude

Confession Time

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Right now there is a trade show going on called CES 2008 where electronics manufacturers show off all of there latest wares. Coverage has been blanketing the interblogs and telescreens with the latest and greatest in tech geekery. The tech blog Gizmodo has recently come clean about a prank they’ve pulled at the show. Demonstrators show-wide could not figure out why their screens where just randomly turning off. Wall after wall of tv-aided sales pitches suddenly went dark. You can’t help but giggle. The editors for the blog were using a product called TV-B-Gone. I too may have used this product in the past. Mwahahaha….

genius, schadenfreude

FedUp with FedEx Part V

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The Public Relations Department at FedEx received my tersely worded mountain of diabtribe. In response to their gross incompetence FedEx apologizes for the trouble I had using their shipping certificates. However, in typical American fashion, FedEx neither fully admits or fully apologizes for the sequence of events. They state that it was the responsibility of their local representatives to follow the terms of the certificate. They attempt to diminish the blow by writing in closing:

“Mr. Fager, not as compensation, but as a gesture of goodwill… an American Express gift cheque is enclosed…”

For the $40 in worthless FedEx shipping certificates I returned, they sent me $50, which I can use anywhere. What am I going to do with this small fortune? Purchase the domain rights to kenfager.com for another few years. That way this piece of FedEx garbage keeps floating around the interwebs for others to read.

The moral of the story is that people who can read and write are extremely difficult to manipulate. Go to school. Read a book. Write a letter.

internet, linkorati

Die Festpause

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If you are reading this you are either:

a: a regular visitor/voyeur, living vicariously through my life

b: on holiday break and bored out of your mind

c: googled “megajerk”

If any of the above is the case its time for Link-o-Rama. Clicky-click and learn something new. Bulleted-List GO!

genius, schadenfreude

Spreading the… Joy?

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Hohoho!

Last year a lucky few received this amazing unsolicited card. If you would like to receive this year’s RAD TO THE MAX-TREME Limited Edition Kaela and Ken Kristmas Kard (of Awesomeness) 2007 e-mail your mailing address to kenfager(at)gmail.com or leave it in the comments. We’re making a new one next week. The deadline is December 20 so hurry the fudge up.

PS: Offer good only to people either of us know.

apple

Hello RMC Listeners

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If you clicked on the RetroMacCast link in episode 47 then I bid you welcome. Yes, that is my humble Apple IIgs featured. If you have any questions about it you can contact me via e-mail address kenfager(at)gmail.com. Regular RMC listeners may remember a previous photo that was featured on their show.

If you are a regular reader, I highly recommend RetroMacCast. James and John do a fantastic job every week. Even though they are amateurs their production values would have any layman fooled. Check them out.