Random Confessional

Forgive me Flying Spaghetti Monster for I have sinned. Below is a list of things I may or may not have done.

  • Sending paper plates as postcards through the mail.
  • Recommending with a straight face “Plan B” to a friend in full knowledge that it isn’t meant to be taken by men.
  • Calling the Stewart Hall call box demanding nachos.
  • Filling out magazine subscription cards with the names of friends and loved ones.
  • Sending credit card offers back filled with stale crackers and Skittles.
  • Demanding a new bag of M&M’s because the last one was “full of 3’s and W’s instead of M’s.”
  • Claiming that not taking insulin and having high blood sugars is a safe way to lose weight.
  • Screaming in Taco Bell that the employee with the “G-Money” tattoo on his neck is “rollin’ in Hamiltons.”
  • Asserting that German is “the true language of love.”
  • Asserting shortly thereafter that the French language comes exclusively from “Canada – America’s Hat.”

I encourage you to share your confessions, real or fabricated, in fellowship with me. You may post under a pseudonym if you so desire.

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