50 Down, 50 To Go

Since absolutely nothing else of significance is happing in America today, let us take a moment and congratulate my dad. Wayne Fager turns 50 years old on this fine day. Did you know that…:

  • …the Roman numeral L stands for 50?
  • …Paul Simon wrote a song with 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover?
  • …Hawaii was the 50th US state?
  • …110010 is binary for 50?
  • …the 50th element is tin?
  • …50 is a Harshad number?
Don’t worry about him though. He’s got four kids to occaisionally dust him off as he hurdles closer to retirement.
Anyone can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a dad. Happy Birthday Dad!

Business Set-Backs

The Wisconsin Supreme Court has upheld a ruling that Ken’s Holy Orthodox Church of Pancakes is not a legitimate religious organization. As such, the business… err… religion… can no longer continue to enjoy its ridiculously profitable tax-exempt status. This is an utter outrage and I swear to fight the ruling to my dying breath. Ken’s Holy Orthodox Church of Pancakes will continue to sell pancakes ordained by the Almighty Batter, from whom all deliciousness flows. We will also continue unabated in our conversion of the heretical Ken’s Holy Reformed Church of Pancakes and its infidel members.

Equilibrium of Dissent

Editor’s Note: The following text was a persuasive essay that I entered into a writing contest. The open-ended theme of the contest was “How does writing sustain democracy?” Although I very loosely incorporated writing in the beginning and end of this essay, I felt it was to powerful to keep to myself. I entered the contest, but decided not to share it until the day that winners would be notified. The Presidential Election is too important for you to not participate. My position on the election has been made very clear. Despite this, I implore both republicans and democrats to take the time to exercise your rights as a citizen. November 4, 2008 is a day to make history. Without further ado, my entry…

In the late summer months of 1776 British monarch King George III sat in his regal chair with his afternoon tea and correspondence. Among the parcels was a letter from the thirteen British colonies in America. As he perused the letter the king clenched firm his fists, pursed his lips, and shook with vitriol.

To Whom It May Concern:

We are of the opinion that King George III has not been governing British America very well. Therefore, we are going to give it a go on our own.

Enough is enough George!

Sincerely,
The United States of America

As a red, white, and blue-blooded American I like to think King George III then fell over backwards in his chair. With ratification on July 4, 1776 our patriots established a democracy by a unified act of dissent against a monolithic corrupt authority. The written letter King George III lost his stoic British composure over was the United States Declaration of Independence.

To insure that citizens of the newly formed United States were guaranteed their unalienable rights to “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” the Founding Fathers included the right to dissent. The Declaration preamble authorizes citizens of a corrupt government “to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness.” The Declaration is more explicit in its dissent affirming language proclaiming, “it is [the citizens’] right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security.”

Our democracy functions on the principle that citizens will work together to come to agreement towards securing life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Fortunately, the day-to-day majority of these written agreements legitimately benefit our society. Be that as it may, there have been times when our nation’s laws have tarnished our democracy. In our nation’s infancy people with black skin were nothing more than property. The indigenous people were cattle to be driven out west. Women were expected to make decisions at home, but not in public policy.

How did patriots secure the rights of blacks, native populations, and women? Those who asserted their right to dissent with the status quo brought change. Their brave dissent provided a fundamental and corrective balance to our democracy. The collective efforts of those who struggled for their rights in turn made our democracy stronger. Today, however, we can only read about their endeavors in history books. Their tomes are ghosts of American democracy, as it existed in bygone eras. To whom can we look for models of modern dissent in America?

We look to the unpatriotic Americans who refused to follow the status quo after 9/11 for modern, living, breathing examples of democracy.

Recall the unpatriotic Americans who questioned whether Saddam Hussein was legitimately linked to 9/11. Saddam Hussein still has no credible link to the events of 9/11 as of 2008. This unfortunate truth has cost the lives of more than 4150 of America’s finest soldiers.

Think back to the unpatriotic Americans who questioned if Saddam Hussein actually had weapons of mass destruction. We now know that he had never procured yellow cake, stockpiled nuclear weapons, or hoarded other WMDs. Tens of thousands of America’s finest are coming home with life-altering injuries and untreated psychological disorders from this fruitless endeavor.

Conjure up the unpatriotic Americans who questioned whether the War on Terror really would pay for itself with oil revenues. Emergency appropriations bill after appropriations bill has funneled money into Iraq without appropriate oversight. We have currently spent over $700 billion of your tax dollars rebuilding that country.

…and we still have not caught Osama bin Laden in Afghanistan!

Ponder the unpatriotic Americans who questioned whether suspending habeas corpus and torturing people for information was legal. Our nude Abu Ghraib prisoner stacking and Guantanamo Bay water-boarding exercises have destroyed our credibility as an advocate for basic human rights on the world stage.

Reflect on the unpatriotic Americans who questioned whether The Patriot Act encroached upon civil liberties. The telephone companies and intelligence agencies have been caught red-handed spying on Americans without a warrant. The secret No-Fly List has the TSA blindly accusing American citizens of being potential terrorist threats. The world’s top intellectual minds are avoiding our country due to harassment from the Department of Homeland Security.

Mull over the unpatriotic Americans who marched out of sync with the beat of the war drum. They have been relegated to pre-designated out-of-sight out-of-mind zones where First Amendment rights have been quarantined like an infectious disease.

The nerve of these unpatriotic Americans defending our rights via dissent!

In the past eight years we ordained fear as a guiding light and have somehow been led into darkness. President Franklin Delano Roosevelt would be rolling in his grave if he knew our worst fear is fear itself. We will not survive if fear continues to be status quo. Now is the time for the status quo to change. Everyday Americans have the power to change.
If you were to scrutinize the Declaration of Independence at the National Archives in Washington D.C. you may be surprised at its physical condition. It is pathetically brittle, a jaundice shade of yellow, and has print barely detectable to the naked eye. The ink may be dried and fading on the Declaration, but the ink is still wet in the wells of each American’s democratic vote. Within the American vote lies the power to write the text of our democracy and, as a means of preservation through dissent, to make right our democracy when it is wrong.

A vote of dissent is an unalienable right granted to you. Dissent provides balance to our democracy. Dissent is an explicit act of patriotism. Dissent is an act of love for our democracy.

Enough is enough George!