gaming, thrift

Forget HD Television… Here is Colecovision

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The first and third Mondays of every month mean that St. Vincent De Paul’s Thrift Store has a 50% off sale. My past few visits have been marked by a yearning to pick up a box that had been sitting on the floor for weeks. The $75 price tag just threw me off every time. I gave into the urge today thanks to massive savings.
Colecovision

It is a Colecovision with the Atari 2600 Expansion Module and it came with 32 games. Now, I already own two Colecovisions and that wacky expansion dongle. But you never know what you may find when you pick up these collection. I got three games that I do not have in my collection. Defender (Sears Tele-games label), Star Wars: Jedi Arena, and perhaps the oddest Atari 2600 cart ever, the Xonox Double Ender. When I pulled this cart out of the box I was rendered unconcious for hours by what I believe to be a roundhouse kick to the face. When I came to and my blurred vision cleared up I read the cart label. One end of the cartridge was Artillery Duel and the other end was Chuck Norris Superkicks. Sweeeeeet!

Xonox

deutsch, education

Thanks Drew

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According to my friend Drew the local dialect of Sheboygan, Wisconsin uses the word “schnibbel” to describe a scrap piece of paper. I had an inclination that this word had German roots so I whipped out the translator on my Tungsten C. Sure enough schnibbel is derived from the masculine/neuter German noun Schnippel.

The thousands of dollars I will be paying well into my 50’s for my college education has payed off. Thanks Drew.

geek

Six Degrees of Music Identification

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I need your help identifying a gorgeous piece of music that I have been trying to track down for months. I intend to purchase the album it came on but I cannot identify the artist(s). I first came across the music watching content on the website of Bodyworlds creator Gunther van Hagens.So without further delay here is the link to the audio file. Please leave me a message if you know the title and/or author(s) of this track.Vielen Dank,kenfager.com staff

geek

Pirate Plunder 110%

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For the past two months I have been working third shift at Festival Foods here in Oshkosh. Last Thursday I turned in my two-week notice to allow adequate time for the final preparations for Operation Übertaco. Working third shift can be slow and monotonous and gives a man a lot of time to think. In the middle of aisle 13 at 4 a.m., the waning hour of the soul, silence was shattered as I broke out into maniacal laughter. An idea most nefarious in nature sprung into my mind. Quitting my employment at Festival would be too easy. Rather than merely punch out after my tenure I plan on doing something much more fun. On my last day I plan on executing the following plan, which I will dub “Pirate Plunder 110%!”

Around midnight the third shift stockers take a 15-minute break. Rather than punch back in after this break I will forget to do so. This way I am off the clock when I make my exit. Shortly before 12:30 a.m. a shopper will make their way down the aisle I am working in. The presence of the shopper will alert me that the plan is about to commence. When the shopper passes I will cough to give the okay to go ahead or a hello to wait a few minutes. The shopper will exit the building and purchase a small item on the way out. The shopper will inform the team of at least three more people waiting outside of my location. The shopper will return with at least three other shoppers.  The group of shoppers will separate into adjacent aisles and put on their pirate regalia (now known as “pirates”). Half will go the far end and the other two will wait at the front end of the aisle where I am located. The pirates will approach me quickly, grab me by the shoulders and begin to drag me out of the store. One of the pirates will be charged with handing a “ransom” note to one of my coworkers. The note will contain an explanation of what just happened for those without a sense of humor.
Let me know if you want in. Details will be hashed out.

gaming, geek, thrift

The Talking Computron

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Computron!

EDITOR’S NOTE – MARCH 24, 2009 – I get a lot of traffic to this story, a few e-mails asking questions, and great comments left for this blog entry. I’m really curious how you readers are finding this bit of text. Please leave a comment telling me how!

Behold, puny mortals, my latest thrift store acquisition! St. Vincent De Paul got the shaft as I saved 50% off this $1 piece of raw computational power. The 1986 Talking Computron by VTel features a membrane keyboard, eight-character red LED alpha-numeric display, 20 built-in programs, cartridge slot, and even a real electronic voice! It is powered by 6 C batteries or a 9v 300mA adapter. On the top of the unit written on tape it says verbatim “WURKS NEEDS BATTERYS.” Because I do not have C batteries available to power the unit I am left to wildly speculate as to the true capabilities of this device. To put this all into perspective I will compare and contrast with another deus ex machina, the Sony PlayStation 3.

  1. The Talking Computron has a built-in keyboard whereas the PS3 only has USB ports to plug one in. Advantage Computron.
  2. Both systems have fonts on the side of the machine that demand your focused attention. Advantage none.
  3. “Talking Computron” is 16 characters long while “PLAYSTATION 3” is only 11. Advantage Computron. Plus one for correct spacing for Computron. Minus one for PS3 for using CAPS LOCK.
  4. Both systems produce an image that hurts to look at in low definition. Advantage none.
  5. Talking Computron came with twenty built-in games plus a cartridge called “Dress Up and Theatre” while PS3 came with the Cross Media Bar. Advantage Computron.
  6. PS3 collects dust superbly on its shiny black surface. Talking Computron collects dust in impossible to clean edges. Advantage none.
  7. PS3 can interface with the PlayStation Portable. The Talking Computron has unknown interface capabilities. Which is scarier? The known or the unknown? Talking Computron plus one.
  8. I am drinking a tasty beverage responsibly whilst writing this. Plus one to me for responsible drinking and plus another for usage of “whilst.” Minus one for drinking it alone.
  9. Talking Computron features built in math software while the PS3 does not. Obviously people who blew $600 do not know the value of money. Advantage Talking Computron.
  10. The PS3 and Talking Computron both lack rumble functionality. Advantage none.

According to my rudimentary and lackluster American public education math skills the final totals come to Talking Computron with 6, PS3 with -1, and myself with a point. Not bad for a $0.50 investment.

September 3, 2009 Update: The Talking Computron sold for $23 on eBay sometime last month. I had no clue that it would fetch so much, let alone sell at all.

deutsch, education

Zwei Zeichentrickfilmen

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During WWII both Warner Brothers and Disney produced animated cartoons featuring prominent Nazi figures. In Warner Brother’s “Herr meets Hare” a lost Bugs Bunny finds himself confronted by a gun-toting Hermann Göring. In Disney’s “Education for Death” a young boy is indoctrinated from birth until death in the Nazi Gleichschaltung. It is a shame that these types of cartoons are no longer shown on networks. They have serious historical merit not found in current sugary-sweet entertainment options for children.

deutsch

Die Flagge von Operation Übertaco

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uebertacoflag.jpg

Attention all Operation Übertaco operatives:

The official flag for Ü-day operations has been announced. The Germans will greet us as liberators when flying the pink taco flag. For reference for non-german speakers: “Einigkeit durch mexikanisches Essen” means “Unity through mexican food.”

Your questionably-sane leader,
High Commander Ken

gaming, internet, schadenfreude

Shining Force III

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The great eBay purge of my storage closet continues on and with it goes on of my prized possessions. Shining Force III for Sega Saturn, one of the system’s rarest games, is available for auction now. Though I am sad to depart with this gem I am even more depressed at what it reminds me of.

The death knell was pretty much sealed in 1995 with the release of the Sony Playstation. By late 1997 the Sega Saturn was sputtering, but Sega didn’t let their system go without a fight. Three of the system’s greatest games were final releases. Burning Rangers, Panzer Dragoon Saga, and Shining Force III. There I stood in the videogame aisle of Toys R Us with $20 dollars in my pocket on that cold December day. Panzer Dragoon Saga in my left hand and Shining Force III in the other. I knew that both titles were extremely rare, but had no conception of how rare. I was a big fan of Panzer Dragoon I and II, but for some reason I chose Shining Force III.

It was only later that I found out the horrible truth about both of those titles. Panzer Dragoon Saga had only 2000 copies released stateside while Shining Force III was only chapter one of a trilogy. The latter two chapters would only be released in Japan. Now Panzer Dragoon Saga sells on eBay for $150-200. I had it in my hand and if I had purchased it, I would have never EVER sold it. Shining Force III was an amazing RPG, but every single time I think about it Panzer Dragoon Saga comes to mind. I cry a little bit knowing that I held perhaps the most sought after RPG by collectors in my naïve hands.

geek

Monitor For Sale

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IBM Monitor

One G70 IBM CRT monitor plus power cord for sale. No screen burn-in. Max resolution is 1600×1200. Great monitor for web design work or extra desktop space. CRTs offer better color results than flat panels. I used this as a secondary monitor to my iMac. I never ran out of desktop real estate with this thing. Will sell and maybe deliver to you (Oshkosh only) for the going rate of BEST OFFER. Get it now before I put it up at Craigslist.