Operatives are required to memorize the map above (click to enlarge) for referance purposes. Ü-day will be hectic and soldiers lost along the way will have to fend for themselves among the Germans.
High Commander Ken
Wierdest. NES Clone. Ever.
Today I came across the most peculiar videogame console at a local thrift store. I knew immediately what it was when I spotted it, but the thing that prompted me to plunk down $5 for it was its sheer design lunacy. I just could not resist.
The Super Joy Voyager is a Nintendo Entertainment System/Famicom clone unit. Because the original NES (Famicom in asian markets) had such widespread popularity, many black market vendors created their own version. These units have ranged in design styles to varying degrees of success. In fact I already own a Famicom clone that looks identical to the original Famicom with the exception of the faceplate. Some of these clones are cased in mock PlayStation cases, or even stranger N64 controller housings. The Super Joy Voyager is a bit of an oddity among this style of clones in that it is housed in a GameBoy casing. The outer casing features the following.:
- Control pad
- Four face buttons
- Select, reset, and start buttons
- Audio speaker
- Joystick port similar to Genesis or Atari
- AC input
- Battery compartment (4 AAA)
- LCD/TV/Off switch
- RCA Video/Audio output
- Cartridge slot
Because they originate from the black market their quality is somewhat dubious. Even more questionable is the content provided with them. Often the clones include a number of illegally copied games. The Super Joy Voyager is no different as this unit features 84 games. Among the titles include the well known Galaga, Galaxian, 1942, Arkanoid, Dig Dug, Paperboy, Gradius, Spy vs. Spy, and Xevious. The rest of the titles are much lesser known or never released outside of asian markets. Piracy does not always go hand in hand as some Famicom clones sometimes include a cartridge slot to connect original games to. This clone has a cartridge slot, but oddly, it only fits the single cartridge ever made for the unit. Turning the Power Joy Voyager on without the cartridge labeled PJ-008 only yields a purple screen on the television. The decision to include a cartridge instead of hard wiring the ROMs to the unit seems very strange. I doubt I will ever come across another cartridge for this thing.
There are two controllers that connect simultaneously to the bottom of the unit. Both controllers are unique in their design. The first controller is your standard fair run of the mill buttons. The directional pad however is a stick that can best be likened to a cheap version of the NeoGeo Color’s superb “clicky” control stick. The other controller is simply an ugly abomination. You know how sometimes things go wrong in the womb for twins. One turns out fine and the other turns out “different.” This would be the a case of the latter. The second controller has your standard buttons, a normal directional pad, a trigger under the right handle, and a nozzle for a light gun wrapped around the upper edge. So far I have only been able to use it with “Clay Shooting” which is the third option from Nintendo’s Duck Hunt. Why they would go through the hassle and not include Duck Hunt is beyond me.
The coup de gras for the mediocrity of this unit lies in the monochromatic screen. You cannot play the Famicom games on this screen. Instead this feature is used for the “668-in-1” LCD block games. Some versions of the games are, like the ROMs, well known like Tetris or Breakout. The rest are completely irrational or unplayable. Spending more than a minute with them will most likely make your eyes bleed. I value my eyesight too much to review each of the questionable 668 games. I am willing to gather most are merely variations in difficulty on the same few titles. Oh, how did I fail to mention thep absolute worst feature? When turning the LCD on that this thing plays the same music on the loudest volume setting it can. I recognize the tune as a famous Christmas holiday song but have yet to identify it.
The one thing that this unit does have going in its favor is the sticker on the back which says “This device complies with part 15 of the FCC Rules [sic].” I secretly pray that it does.
Call of Duty Lawsuit
Three summers ago I received an e-mail from my uncle Scott Langteau. He wanted to know if I would fly to Los Angeles to do some alpha testing on his upcoming PS2 shooter Call of Duty. For two weeks I would sit with a PS2 development kit and play the unfinished game before it went to the official testers. Eventually the title was released for not only PS2, but also Xbox and Gamecube. For my efforts my name was sandwiched in the credits under Special Thanks right under fellow friend and family Vi Troung. Call of Duty went on to become a phenomenal hit.
With that popularity came great amounts of income. The publisher, Activision, was allegedly not very reputable in keeping their end of the contract up. Spark Unlimited, which developed CoD, filed suit against Activision for breech of contract on various terms. From what my uncle says the lawsuit is progressing in their favor. The presiding judge has recently released their contract to public record. If you are interested in what exactly goes into the development of a game it is an interesting read.
Ich bin Amerikaner
Everyone casually jokes about how when an American goes to Europe they should say “Ich komme aus Kanada.” Doing so may prevent a confrontation with a local who is upset with the oh… I don’t know… one or two things that the current US administration has done. I refuse to do this. Rather than say I am from Canada I have come up with some clever alternatives.
- Ich komme aus dem Bauch meiner Mutti. – I come from my mommy’s tummy.
- Ich komme aus einem Land hinunter, wo Bier fließen und Männer kotzen. Könnten Sie könnten Sie den Donner hören? Sie sollen rennen! Sie sollen Decke nehmen! – I come from a land down under, where beer does flow and men chunder. Can’t you hear, can’t you hear the thunder? You better run, you better take cover. : Men at Work – “Land Down Under”
- Ich komme aus dem kalten Staat Alaska. Es ist wie Kanada. – I come from the cold state of Alaska. It is like Canada.
PS: Did you know that in the local Umgängsprache (colloquial dialect) for Berlin, President JFK’s “Ich bin ein Berliner” quote meant that he said he was a jelly doughnut. “Ich bin Berliner” would have been the appropriate translation, but the locals all knew what he meant.
The Cost of Education
For those of you who don’t know I went to a private parochial school until 8th grade. St. Paul Lutheran’s graduating class of 1998 had only nine people. Two years of preschool, one year of kindergarten, and eight years of private education gave me a significant leg up in public high school. It was painfully obvious among my peers that I had not gone to public school. Those 11 years of private education set me apart and I’m sure my parents are more than happy with their investment. Private education does not come cheap, but its gains are exponential. It came as a bit of a shock when I began to achieve in the 3.4 – 4.0 GPA range in college when all during high school I had a persistent 2.3 GPA. I now appreciate the sacrifices made by my parents as I am preparing to become a public school teacher. But education is not all about reading, writing, and arithmetic as an essential portion comes from interacting with the world around you. It is time for me to put my German education into practice this coming March until August.
In Germany I plan to absorb as much of the country, its people, and its culture as possible. It is my intention to update my site as often as I can. I want to chronicle my experiences along the way. I assure you that many will involve my adjusting to German customs and embarrassing situations I got into. Along the way I plan on taking hundreds of photos and posting them to my flickr.com account. But in order for these experiences to occur I require funding. Thusly it is with reservation that I request a small donation from you.
My current financial situation is as follows. I have paid for tuition and have money set aside for airfare housing, food, and insurance. The $1000 grant from the Wisconsin government has been allotted to the payment of these things. My parents have set aside an account to help pay for other items I will need. I have been working 3rd shift at Festival Foods in Oshkosh to try to scrounge up funding for my trip. Currently I am scheduled for only 24 hours/week, but Festival has been cutting my hours. The week of January 15 – 21 I am only scheduled for 16 hours and those shifts are guaranteed to be cut short. Rent alone for February will be approximately $400, not to mention food and other costs. Any additional savings earned for my trip will not last very long.
The cost of an education is not just tuition. It includes all of the minor payments along the way. What does a small donation afford? It gives me the chance to eat a government-subsidized meal in “Mensa” with other German students. I can send a letter to my girlfriend that contains a German chocolate bar to help stem her feelings of being alone, even if only for a minute. I can travel via the Intercontinental Express to Berlin, Vienna, and Frankfurt to absorb all of the museums. I can grab my backpack and venture to the Dachau concentration camp and pay homage to the fallen. I can purchase daily necessities such as razors, shampoo, and most importantly, soap. I can venture to the Eckkneipe and order an Oktoberfest Spaten Bier with my German friends. It gives me enough scratch to purchase coffee at 3am as I translate a load of homework as a full-time student. In going about all of these activities I will experience firsthand what some textbooks only describe. I will learn the language necessary to function and in doing so improve my future prospects of being a German teacher.
Your small donation can be received directly through PayPal. PayPal is the internet’s most secure method of sending money. I have been using it to handle all of my eBay buying and selling transactions. In the five years of using it I have never had a problem where the security of my credit card or checking account has been compromised. All you need to do is click the PayPal link below to begin. Once you make a donation an e-mail notification will be sent to me. You don’t even have to sign up for PayPal. It is just that easy… and thank you.
[donate]
Der friedliche Eingriff der deutschen Nation
The invasion of Germany (Operation Übertaco) date has been set. American Airlines Flight 944 departs from O’Hare on March 1, 2007. Until then the kenfager.com staff is aquiring massive amounts of supplies from the local Taco Bell. Please note the following.:
- From here on March 1 is to be referred to as “Ü-day.”
- Subsequent days will follow the nomenclature as used during WWII after D-Day. For example March 2 will be “Ü-day+1.”
- If umlauts are unavailable on your electronic internet typewriter you will need to fill out requisition form #U-3419D. In the meantime use the “Ue-Day+#” format.
- For clarity sake the “Ü-day+#” format is always in English and never the German “Ü-Tag+#.”
Some Fruit Company
Forrest Gump went to his mailbox and opened a letter. In the narration voiced by Tom Hanks, Forrest states that Lt. Dan invested in “some fruit company” and that he didn’t have to worry about money anymore. Forrest says “Well that’s good. One less thing to worry about.” The setting was the mid 1980’s when this fruit company was at their apex. In the mid 1990’s they took a steady nose-dive.
About five years ago I pondered dropping $500 worth of money I had on Apple stock which was trading at about $20 per share. This was before the iPod/iTunes really hit its stride in the mainstream and OS X was the powerhouse it is now. Today they are trading at over just over $90 per share. About four years ago I plunked down cash for a widescreen G4 iMac which still works very well.
Apple now leads the market in digital music and video distribution. Numbers show that online music sales rose 65% while in-store sales dropped around 7% (a 10+ year trend). Apple controls the digital audio player market with an 85% share with the seamless iTunes/iPod interface. The transition to Intel chips in their entire computer line has made Windows a viable option for Mac owners. In fact Windows runs smoother on Apple machines, much to the embarrasment of Mr. Gates. Mac adoption rates have more than doubled in the past year as a result. Many users have been opting to stick with OS X and leave Windows behind.
Today Apple unveiled the oft rumored iPhone. It comes in 4gb and 8gb versions, runs OS X, iTunes, and is a cellphone with a myriad of connection technologies all run from a touchscreen. This is Apple’s Gleichanschaltung (coordination) at its finest. I have for nearly a decade now refused to purchase a cell-phone. I believe I may buckle for this one… eventually. I still hate cell phones.
I do not have any money right now to invest. But five years ago my $500 would have brought in $2,250 if I sold today. That would help me pay for the three tracks I just bought on the iTunes store.
Pure Profit
A while back I stumbled across a box of random untested videogame systems on sale at 50% off for a grand total of $10. The Sega Master System required thirty seconds of repair to get back to working order. Final price on eBay? $46 plus $7 S/H.
Nintendo Wii Online
Using the same Mac OS X Hints instructions for getting NintendoDS online I have been able to also get my Nintendo Wii online. After a lengthy download from Nintendo after connecting I had access to the Virtual Console, Wii Marketplace, and other online features. I even shared my friend code with my friend Blair. This morning when I returned to my room the Wii disc slot was lit up. I fired up the console to check what it meant. Apparently you can send your custom Mii characters, messages, and other Nintendo goodies.
My Wii friend code: 1423 3644 2287 4084
Leave your Wii friend code via the comments. I have to input your friend code in order for our Wii to communicate.
Rockboxing the iPod
After much trial and error I have gotten iPod to run new system software. I stumbled across Rockbox a few months back, but was turned off by the prospect of installing new software. I installed iPod Linux on my 4G iPod when it was unsupported and ended up bricking the thing. I took the warranty voiding plunge this weekend and was able to get Rockbox up and running alongside the iPod software.
But why use Rockbox when Apple’s software works fantastically? As with most open source software the answer is customization. Everything from scroll speed, display info, and themes are completely configurable. There are also formats not officially supported by Apple that can be played with Rockbox. Plus it makes people do a double take when they see your iPod running something different. If I need to I can switch back to the original iPod OS by holding down Menu + Select with the iPL Loader 2.4 bootloader package.
Installation is not for the faint of heart. It does require some work with Terminal line commands. The installation instructions leave something to be desired. It took some forum research and ingenuity to get it to work. I found it best to install Rockbox first and then skip the Rockbox bootloader installation which loads it by default. iPL Loader 2.4 is a seamless loader for the two firmwares.
Coming soon… Doom on iPod.